May 30, 2008


It looks like someone is trying to throw a wrench in my exit strategy. It blows a little but I’m trying to look on the bright side. If they didn’t love me, they wouldn’t care about my exit strategy. I suppose I should use the word “love” lightly. Most important of all is that I still have a job and this, my friends, is key.  It’s truly a dog eat dog world out here in the jungles of Broad and Water and Wall Street (and stone, hanover sq, john, pearl, old slip etc). Got an email from my friend last week, today is his last day at work. He used to work at Bear Stearns you see, I guess you could say he is one of the lucky ones ‘cause he lasted this long. He is a genius so I’m not too worried about him. There is so much talk about the US economy, the dollar, mortgage market, securities market, crude oil price and all that jazz.  The sound of Europe makes some of us squeal – for obvious reasons of course (its not you, its us). Things are not looking good at all; price of milk has gone up a buck since last year. Even more ridiculous, price of halal (“chicken over rice, hot sauce, white sauce”) has gone up a buck too. As in, “are you serious guy?” If the price of halal is skyrocketing then there is no hope for a 3 course meal at Harry’s or I might be subjected to what’s on tap at C-Side (not that I go there often). McDonalds is trying to milk this poverty cow by increasing the options on their dollar menu. Maybe they got the inside scoop that sooner than later NYers won’t be able to afford more on lunch. Worse of all Armando Montelongo is still flipping houses and growing rich. If I hear his ad one more time I will be flipping something. On a good note I have been taking measures to adjust to the economy. For one, I haven’t been to the movies in ages (and I have no business with SATC). Secondly, I have cut down my food expense; a salad at my job is cheaper than chicken fingers and fries (or Sheppard’s pie with a side of pasta and potatoes…yummy). Thirdly, well there is no thirdly, but these baby steps will go a long way…I hope…they had better.


Hehe. Its not that bad jare. God dey!


If only it were that easy

May 29, 2008

I get current feeds from wikiHow on my igoogle page and its ridiculous some of the things they “coach” you on how to do. Things like; How to open a door with a credit card, How to be retro, How to flip a coin on your knuckles. Today’s was absolutely funny; How to fall out of love. I just had to see what they wrote and decided to share. Truth is, it might actually work for someone who is looking to fall out of love. Enjoy…

1.        Make a list of all the reasons it wasn’t meant to be. The number one reason should be that you are worth someone who loves you and who thinks you are awesome. It’s always flattering to have an admirer, but you deserve better than to just be somebody’s ego boost. Other reasons may include incompatibility, especially when you imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with this person and remember the ways in which you clash on a regular basis. Human memory can be selective, and you may find yourself dwelling on that first kiss in the park, or that time when you laughed till you almost cried…but also remember the times when you felt neglected, unappreciated, betrayed, or even deeply annoyed.

o        See their faults. Nobody is perfect. The longer you hold on to the idea that this person is perfect, the harder it’ll be to get on with your life. It’s completely possible that you’re idealizing someone just so that you can have a fantasy to hold on to. You should accept that this person is not perfect, and definitely not perfect for you — because the perfect person for you would think as highly of you as you do of them.

o        Think of what you want from a significant other that you didn’t get from this person. Was he or she arrogant? Cold? Controlling? Write down the opposites of those traits (humble, warm, and empowering) and put them wherever you can see them often. Not only will you see what this person didn’t have, but you’ll learn from this experience and look forward to finding someone who better suits you.

o        Ask yourself if it was really true love you were feeling for this person. Read How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust. If you recognize that it was infatuation or lust rather than love, then you will have an easier time letting go.

2.       Remove as many traces of their presence in your life as you can. This is very, very difficult but also very important. Ask friends and family to help you sort through things and put anything that reminds you of him or her in a box. If you want to give these things back to the person, mail them–don’t give it to them in person and torture yourself. An alternative is to bury the box (presuming it won’t contaminate the water supply), burn it (with caution), or throw it (forcefully) into the dumpster. The physical act of destroying reminders of them may help your emotional side catch up.

o        If you lived together, consider redecorating. Even moving furniture around can help dilute those feelings that will inevitably surge when you wake up without them next to you. If it’s possible and necessary, you might even consider moving.

3.       Distance yourself. You won’t want to, but staying close to someone you want but can’t have just isn’t healthy. Don’t tell the person or anyone close to them what you are doing, as they might try to convince you otherwise. Just try to get away for a while. Don’t call them, don’t go places where you know they frequent, and make yourself scarce. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself.

o        The object of your affection might notice you are distancing yourself from them. They will try to get you to see them more. Say you have been really busy with all of these new activities. Tell them you have other things to do, too. You must have a life separate from theirs. Don’t answer their calls and don’t call them or text message them. You will be tempted to, but don’t.

o        Don’t assume after distancing yourself for awhile that you are over it. Be careful to make sure you are fully over this person before you see the person again. Otherwise all your progress will be undone, and you’ll be back at square one.

o         If this person was an unhealthy influence in your life (controlling, manipulative, abusive, etc.), cut them out completely. There’s no obligation to stay on good terms with someone who made your life miserable, even if they didn’t mean to. They may try to make you feel sorry for them in order to keep you wrapped around their finger. Cut off all ties and move on. Read How to End a Controlling or Manipulative Relationship.

4.       Do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, that you wouldn’t have done if you were still with this person. Did you always want to take a tango class, but didn’t because he or she “doesn’t dance, period” and you didn’t want to go without them? Did you want to go to that car, fashion, or antique lamp show with your friends, but felt reluctant to spend your day off with someone other than your love? Did you want to travel to an exotic country, but your partner didn’t want to go because it’s too hot/dirty/boring? Maybe–probably–there are ways in which the relationship held you back. Now is the perfect time to focus on those missed opportunities. Do whatever you can to feel better about yourself. Exercise, eat well, take a class, meet people, go to parties, have fun. Life is too short to spend it pining for someone who doesn’t see you for the great person you are. There are those out there who will.

5.        Mingle. While you are distancing yourself from said object of affection, try to meet new people who share similar interests. If you choose to date, avoid the temptation to settle for whomever asks you out, just to distract you from your old flame, or you might end up making someone fall in love with you whom you don’t love back!

6.        Understand that the feelings may never fade completely. You felt close to this person at one point in your life, and while you can eventually realize emotionally that you’ve grown apart, you will probably always have a soft spot for him or her. At some point, it may be possible to remain friends, but mind the boundaries and don’t let your heart fall back into it.



May 22, 2008

Remember my SUPER DUPER LIST of 2008? If not, refer to my Dec. 21 2007 post. Anyhow I wanted to give y’all the status update. Abi, what’s the use sharing it if I can perform? So here we go;

1.        Learn to speak Spanish – taking classes now, actually on level “Initial 2”. I can be left alone in the streets of Madrid and carry a somewhat meaningful conversation with a stranger. My Spanish class mates are just too cool and although, I didn’t go in to make contacts, I have. It’s still a long road but we are getting there.

2.        Take all my pending exams – One down. One more to go…

3.        Travel to a country I have never been to –  Went to Costa Rica (my spanish came in handy) and I made a Brazilian friend who has invited the girls and I to Brazil. Brazil is looking quite attractive right about now.

4.        Go to Motherland – This is a most def. By God’s Grace. (Amen)

5.        Be a better friend, sister, lover, daughter…and all that mushy stuff – hehehehehehehehehehehe 😀

6.        Take a dance or/and sketch class – Just registered for an art class this summer. I used to sketch when I was younger and found myself in an art competition back in the day but Idunno, I guess I never followed through. So this is an opportunity and art, like writing, for me is therapeutic, entonces….

Having a list of things to accomplish for the year isn’t such a bad idea. It is even better when you share it with someone because if you are like me, you think that the person is going to get on your ass if you don’t perform as expected and that kindda makes you do it. So try it. What is there to loose?


May 20, 2008


I went on vacation about a week plus ago to Costa Rica. My first impression of the country was lovely. My friends and I stood at baggage claims and it wasn’t rowdy. We used the rest rooms; they were clean and guess what? There was water to flush and wash our hands. The airport was welcoming and calm. Immigration officers were laid back but stern. We took a cab from the Alajuela, the town where the airport was located and drove to San Jose. It reminded me of home, the little houses, the trees, the kids playing on the street. There was something different though, good roads, no traffic and the cabs are very comfy and inexpensive. The public buses were also nice (I am yet to find a conductor any where else). Yes, there were the small “ghettos” here and there; a homeless man sitting on the side of a corner street but honestly, being Nigerian, I felt safe and content. My friends and I did a lot of ‘tourismo’ stuff that required us traveling to Puerto Viejo and Puerto Arenas, which are the smaller provinces in Costa Rica. Even in these small towns, the roads were good and to my amazement (or should I say ignorance) there was electricity.


So I question the excuses I have been giving my country for years in terms of providing electricity for our people and our businesses. A couple of years ago, I was confronted by a school mate, Asian kid who grew up in the Benin Republic, he asked me why Nigeria has electricity problems but are still able to export electricity to Benin. I thought about it, had a few discussions and came up with the propaganda theory of how the certain government officials are getting bribes from generator merchants and in exchange they cut off power supply so these merchants can make profit selling their generators. Well, enough is enough. It is time Nigeria takes responsibility for its own. If we want foreign investments flowing into our economy then we have to make the environment conducive enough. Now that South Africa and Kenya aren’t looking ‘hot’ for African tourist attractions, maybe Nigeria should step it up and milk the tourism cow (hmmm, nah, Ghana is running with that already).


See article: Electricity Crisis, Bane of Investment – World Bank

aFrIcA – S. Africa

May 19, 2008

Even amid catastrophes like earthquakes in China and the insurgence of xenophobia in South Africa, local gossip still takes the cake. It seems like no one cares about what is happening in the world anymore – or ever – even me. Maybe it’s because it is easier to take the news of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz intimate wedding as opposed to hearing about thousands of Zimbabweans that have been displaced from their homes by S. African rebels.


I always had this thing for South Africa, it wasn’t hatred, or dislike, just irritation when “kids of the west” talked about vacations in JoBurg and how pretty JoBurg is, how they don’t mind moving to JoBurg because Africa doesn’t seem that bad after all…eww, eww, ewww.  No one talked about the slums, the diseases or S. Africa’s ridiculous crime rate. It just goes to show that good publicity does go a long way, even to the extent of sweeping the grime under the carpet.


Suddenly, Africa got a rude awakening when Lucky Dube was robbed and killed in S. Africa. Now, suddenly the world is awoken by the blantant display of hatred shown to Zimbabwean immigrants in S. Africa. Maybe I am bitter because 12 people were killed this past weekend in JoBurg…some beaten to death and some set on fire because they were accused of stealing jobs “meant for the S. African people” and living in “S.African homes”.  


“Africa Unite” ??? que un chiste!



the dog within

May 16, 2008

An underdog by definition is; somebody who is expected to lose a fight or contest; somebody who is unsuccessful; someone who bets are placed against.  I believe however, that the word is used slightly differently in a modern context. All along my understanding of an Underdog is someone who is expected to lose BUT doesn’t. The BUT places a huge caveat in the contemporary definition. It changes the whole game because the underdog becomes the winner. This is not just any other victory; it surpasses all victories because of the preformed expectations of failure. So I fancy calling myself an underdog – like I have always done – BUT based on my own standards and definition of what an underdog stands for. However, this leaves a gap. If an underdog begins to win every contest, he/she will slowly transform into a winner and by societal standards he/she is no longer the underdog. It then seems that an underdog seizes to become an underdog when he/she gains one victory; just one. That is all it takes. There are however several ways to analyze this. No two battles are the same even when the variables appear to be constant. So the “one-victory” factor fails to exist when time and space is taken into consideration. For instance I am not the same today because yesterday is a complete and separate day. If that is the case, a battle is completely different from another and hence an underdog can remain an underdog BUT only within this sphere of understanding. An individual can choose to remain an underdog even when the world doesn’t acknowledge this. A little twisted-somewhat odd-brain-fart.


Have a fantastic weekend!


May 2, 2008


A lot have been happening in the universe like the union of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. Not to worry, that is not my topic of discussion. You probably read about the father who kept his daughter captive in a cellar for 24 years; where he raped her and fathered 7 (1 deceased) of her children. Sickening. 24 years; locked in the cellar of your own house no windows, no sun light and to be raped by your father over and over and over again; to mother your siblings (God Forbid).  Really sickening.  But let me take the spotlight off the daughter for a second and place it on her mother who had no clue (allegedly) that her daughter was kept captive in her own house; whose husband was responsible for her daughter’s fate. Take a minute and try to understand the amount of deceit she must have been subject to. Or was it just blind trust? Sometimes we think we know…but in her case, it seems like she had no clue. This has awakened the paranoia in me and there lies the question; how much trust is trust and how much trust isn’t?


for more on the story – http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1735610,00.html