“She worries me. First she gets the Ferragamo clutch that’s 300 (actually 900 but the cashier rang it wrong, thank God), then she gets Dior sunglasses for 400, then she gets the YSL bag that’s way north of 1000 and then she wanted to get Manolos worth 750 before taxes. That’s where I drew the line…no efing way!” I looked up at my friend in awe…I wanna be efen pampered too! My other friend talks about how his girlfriend wants another bag and a puppy (puppies that she wants are like 2000). She has this thing for shoes and bags and he needs to keep up with the joneses. Most times he fumes about getting her what she wants…but at the end he ALWAYS succumbs. It’s efen genius!


As usual I always like to parallel the Nigerian man ideologies to what I have been exposed to. Where does a naija guy draw the line? Is there ever a line? Some of you might agree with me when I say that most naija guys who come to the States (I can’t speak for other regions) act like they are entitled to certain privies. Entitled in the sense that they don’t put in any effort but they are ready to reap where they didn’t sow. The naija girl is usually the one chasing after him…making sure he is okay…going to his house to clean and cook…throwing him surprise parties…mailing him food if he is out of state….trying her hardest to impress him…yet the guy treats her like crap but she keeps on doing these things – after all it’s her biological clock that’s ticking.  I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with the girl doing any of the above …but habah where does the reciprocity play in? Wouldn’t it be nice to show appreciation in some manner (without being cheesy about it- like feeding her, that is just weird and stupid. she has her own hands), like getting her something nice and perhaps needing to “draw a line” somewhere (I kindda like the line my friend drew).


Some “scholars” have argued that this phenomenon is as a result of a scarcity of decent naija guys in the States and because the demand surpasses the supply, the market is very competitive. This being the case a new phenomenon is on the rise. Girls have begun to venture into the international markets for offshore relationships and from the reactions that I have gotten from trend setters it seems to be the best way to go (there are some one offs which is dependent of the psychoanalytical results of both parties e.g. relationship btwn Bushlike and Chavezlike characters are less likely to succeed). Of course there are certain pull backs like paying offshore taxes and traveling to meet this partner but all in all the end justifies the means innit?


4 Responses to offshore

  1. Edede's sister says:

    Offshore is not a bad idea if the reasons are valid and for all the reasons you’ll date a guy ( here or offshore). There are some solid naija dudes here but the same thing that repels solid naija babes from the current stereotypes are the same thing that repels them too… Some guys actually want to chase the babe, they want to be challenged and they appreciate women that demand respect. They are realistic about the kind of money they have to spend given the society we live in. And there are some Naija chics in la la land that want Manilo, Gucci, keeping up with the Joneses, and play a lot of games. That being said.. One has got to kiss a lot of frogs before meeting prince charming who could either be here or offshore or some chics are lucky not to kiss too many frogs.
    Off shore itself has its own drama – Learning to decipher between sincere love vs love for awoof becomes a key tool to have.

  2. Mm says:

    Nicely said Edede’s sister!

  3. edede says:

    It’s the frog kissing part that I’m not too thrilled about…btw, I corresponded with Mm offline and he thinks that, and I quote: “Naija girls are just as “bad”. I haven’t seen too many naija girls that really know what they r looking for…[some come]with very unrealistic expectations.”

  4. Mm says:

    You went short of revealing my identity. I will “come out of the closet” soon…

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