It’s Monday 1:24pm and I am peachy. Needless to say I look fly – why? Well because I have a huge load of laundry to do so I broke out the new clothes. The J. Crew tee that I had perched for months and the NY&Co plaid skirt I got this past weekend rendered themselves useful on this cold spring day. It’s beautiful outside, but what do I care about what goes on in the outside world when I’m within the four walls of the 12th Fl? What I care about is inside and what goes on inside and today inside is dead – hence blissful. Peeps are on vacation and those that are here do not want to be here. Pure bliss. As a matter of fact I am going to take the liberty to walk over to the t-mobile store and do some rendezvous around 2.
That aside, I want to share my experience with y’all. On Sunday I went to church; nothing unusual as I am one of those people that go to church regularly. It was Easter Sunday and like most churches in the U.S mine was going to be packed with people. Some old members of the church, some frequent visitors, some new; it’s always refreshing to see people seating in the pews and listening to the sermon. Anyhow, Easter Sunday was just like another Sunday for me (it probably shouldn’t be). I wore my jeans, my tee, took a scarf, slipped my feet into my flops and I was good to go (as usual). I imagined me in church, fitting the bill for disgruntled amongst the grateful congregation adorned in Easter attire (trust America’s Capitalists to cash in on any Celebration) but that didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. I got to church, sat down and stared – I gave up on meditating ‘cause I felt that I deceived myself each time I tried. As I sat and stared, my mind roamed to at least 100 places at once. I was thinking thoughts but I didn’t know what I was thinking about. If I were to paint it, it would be abstract and confusing – masterpiece considering my sheer random and confused awesomeness. Something was bothering me but I didn’t know what. To make issues worse, I couldn’t stop the roaming. Each disturbing thought would shoot across my mind with the speed of a comet. So I began to worry about what I didn’t know, I couldn’t pay attention to the liturgy so I didn’t try. All I wanted to do was get up and get out; maybe take a walk…walks are good…maybe I’d feel better…maybe not…plus it’s Easter Sunday, I can’t storm out of church on Easter Sunday…wooosahhh…no not working either.
I managed to stay for communion and when I got back to my pew from the altar I knelt and prayed. Usually I’d recite the “prayer after holy communion” – the ones I used to recite in Naija and follow it with the “prayer for Nigeria in distress” but on Easter Sunday, Edede was in distress so I pushed Nigeria to the side and said the most sincere prayer I have said in a minute. It was about me; a prayer said to God in a few words. Did I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder? Nah! But as the day progressed and as I went about my activities of the day, I knew, undoubtedly, that God heard me and even more amazing, he answered me. I’m not a prayer warrior, I don’t have the best delivery in conversations, I can be a bore to some and I am super fortunate that all that is extra to God.