been thinking

I’ve been doing some thinking lately about people that I have been irritated by – girls to be exact (don’t even start to think I’m a hater ‘cause if you look in the mirror a little bit harder, you will see yours too)… as I was saying I have been thinking about people that I have been irritated by and I have posed questions to myself; Why do I not like them? Why can’t I be indifferent? Is it okay to be indifferent? How can one go about his or her life with just accepting people for who they are? How do people accept me for the mess that I am? And my verdict: I don’t know and it has become a constant struggle.

 

All my life I have been anti-norm. I go against the crowd; not because I want to stand out but more so because I couldn’t fit into “the” definition of the times. I never liked clicks and I was never in a passé. I never use certain words like “friend” and “love” unless I meant them. Good conversations are never enough to define a great friendship. I respect the rawness of life that constantly reminds me that I am human and at the mercy of God. I enjoy telling stories about moments when I am at my most vulnerable because I think that somehow it helps someone cope with whatever it is that (s)he has to cope with. Or would we rather be void of life’s true essence and make up for the void with frivolous aspirations; is this what fabulous has become?

 

These days I am confused about what some people hold dear. I am scared about the manner in which we idolize peers but even more appalled by the prerequisites to be considered an “idol”. I am worried that the true divas –some sung, others unsung – will be placed in the same category as limelight seekers. I will refrain from speaking of change as I doubt that it would make difference. Everything that bothers me today bothered someone in the past, and so these things will not change; the faces and names will change but the useless idiosyncrasy of it all will remain the same. And as for my questions…I am going to deal and live my life and hopefully shed the bitterness and give way for tolerance. There isn’t anyone to blame and there is not use passing blame; after all girls just want to have fun.

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