flu who?

April 29, 2009

 

On the 2 train; a man next to me is reading the WSJ. I stretch my neck to see the caption of a picture…apparently in the capital Pakistan, a company that makes S&M and fetish clothing is located right next to a mosque. My facial expression: “huh!” even more interesting is the picture of an older lady clad in traditional Pakistani attire, seated on her seamstress station and examining one of the pieces. Isn’t the world interesting? That factory, my friends, should be a tourist attraction…what guaranteed amusement!

 

For those of you that have been looking for a reason to call in sick to work today is your lucky day. If you live in NYC you must have heard of the swine flu endemic. Dearest colleagues, this is your opportunity to join the wagon. The weather is lovely and I don’t blame you if you wake up one morning and decide to frolic in Central Park on a Tuesday afternoon. Just send an email to your boss that reads “in emergency room…swine flu…*cough*, *cough*” and you will be set. Seriously though, if you are feverish you might want to check that out. BTW, one doesn’t contract swine flu by eating pork, so bring on the bacon honey!

 

On Allen & Fifth – eyin people, ba mi ra aso o. Thank you all for your comments. I like reading/hearing them. If anything, they keep me going. Best believe that Allen & Fifth is here to please you. Allen & Fifth exists because of you and I will continue to strive to provide you with the best tees ever. In the mean time, this is what I need you to do, peruse the latest collection; start a water cooler convo about Allen & Fifth with your friends and colleague; if you are looking for small talk, skip talking about the weather (everyone knows its lovely) instead say, “have you heard about Allen & Fifth”?, would you do this for me ;o) ??? **edede is batting her eyes**

 

I’m out…on a schedule these days but will be back veces proxima!


Friday Morning

April 17, 2009

Friday Morning; I am exhausted and my body aches but I manage to get out of bed. I mean, it’s not like a have a choice… yet. I do my usual morning ritual and leave the house at 7:26am. I have been leaving the house late all week. I have gotten to the point where I can tell anyone at work “what?!?, you aint my daddy!” – and if I can’t tell them at least I can think it. The train ride was quite pleasant. The 3 train wasn’t crowded. It hasn’t been so for a week. I think public school kids are on some kind of vacation. Anyhow, I arrive at work and it’s quiet. I’m not too surprised; it’s Friday and the weather is great, if anything I should be in bed. I settle in at my cube and I check my cell phone. I have a message from Compadre and it says, “if anyone asks, I’ll be in @ 9:30”. Argh, loser! I sighed. There is no use wasting my minutes replying – even though I have unlimited text messages (minus messages I send to naija). I know what the drill is; he went out last night and got mega wasted. It’s not the first time. I imagine him walking in @ 9:30 oozing of Jack & Diet Coke and maybe Vodka Soda ‘cause they are both low in calories – trim boys don’t do beer.

Of course I was right. At 9:30 Compadre walks in and says good morning. He is so hung over that it would make no difference if he walked in with a bottle in his hands. I’m glad he is in. He makes my day sober or not. He slides right next to me and places his arm next to mine. “Pink” he says. Pink?! I’m confused. He noticed and said “we are both wearing pink, we coordinated”. I find this odd as I have a white shirt on so I imagine that the hangover had adverse effects. “It has a tint of pink!” he said, in a desperate attempt to make me see that he is not crazy but there was no point; my mind was made up. Compadre slides back to his cube and I hear SirReal, “Why do you have tissue paper plugged in your nose? You look retarded”, SirReal had managed to make his way over to my cube unnoticed. On a good day I would have spotted in on my hyper sensitive motion detector mirror. It is such a fantastic tool. Because of my mirror I know to minimize certain “inappropriate windows”. “The tissue has menthol in it and I have a running nose”, I replied, trying to justify my silly antic – I did look silly. “You are such a loser”, he replies and I followed suite calling him a “fat kid”; it works all the time.

Enough of the slacking! Lets see if I can get some serious work done today.


been thinking

April 17, 2009

I’ve been doing some thinking lately about people that I have been irritated by – girls to be exact (don’t even start to think I’m a hater ‘cause if you look in the mirror a little bit harder, you will see yours too)… as I was saying I have been thinking about people that I have been irritated by and I have posed questions to myself; Why do I not like them? Why can’t I be indifferent? Is it okay to be indifferent? How can one go about his or her life with just accepting people for who they are? How do people accept me for the mess that I am? And my verdict: I don’t know and it has become a constant struggle.

 

All my life I have been anti-norm. I go against the crowd; not because I want to stand out but more so because I couldn’t fit into “the” definition of the times. I never liked clicks and I was never in a passé. I never use certain words like “friend” and “love” unless I meant them. Good conversations are never enough to define a great friendship. I respect the rawness of life that constantly reminds me that I am human and at the mercy of God. I enjoy telling stories about moments when I am at my most vulnerable because I think that somehow it helps someone cope with whatever it is that (s)he has to cope with. Or would we rather be void of life’s true essence and make up for the void with frivolous aspirations; is this what fabulous has become?

 

These days I am confused about what some people hold dear. I am scared about the manner in which we idolize peers but even more appalled by the prerequisites to be considered an “idol”. I am worried that the true divas –some sung, others unsung – will be placed in the same category as limelight seekers. I will refrain from speaking of change as I doubt that it would make difference. Everything that bothers me today bothered someone in the past, and so these things will not change; the faces and names will change but the useless idiosyncrasy of it all will remain the same. And as for my questions…I am going to deal and live my life and hopefully shed the bitterness and give way for tolerance. There isn’t anyone to blame and there is not use passing blame; after all girls just want to have fun.


monday, sunday

April 13, 2009

 

It’s Monday 1:24pm and I am peachy. Needless to say I look fly – why? Well because I have a huge load of laundry to do so I broke out the new clothes. The J. Crew tee that I had perched for months and the NY&Co plaid skirt I got this past weekend rendered themselves useful on this cold spring day. It’s beautiful outside, but what do I care about what goes on in the outside world when I’m within the four walls of the 12th Fl? What I care about is inside and what goes on inside and today inside is dead – hence blissful. Peeps are on vacation and those that are here do not want to be here. Pure bliss. As a matter of fact I am going to take the liberty to walk over to the t-mobile store and do some rendezvous around 2.

That aside, I want to share my experience with y’all. On Sunday I went to church; nothing unusual as I am one of those people that go to church regularly. It was Easter Sunday and like most churches in the U.S mine was going to be packed with people. Some old members of the church, some frequent visitors, some new; it’s always refreshing to see people seating in the pews and listening to the sermon. Anyhow, Easter Sunday was just like another Sunday for me (it probably shouldn’t be). I wore my jeans, my tee, took a scarf, slipped my feet into my flops and I was good to go (as usual). I imagined me in church, fitting the bill for disgruntled amongst the grateful congregation adorned in Easter attire (trust America’s Capitalists to cash in on any Celebration) but that didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. I got to church, sat down and stared – I gave up on meditating ‘cause I felt that I deceived myself each time I tried. As I sat and stared, my mind roamed to at least 100 places at once. I was thinking thoughts but I didn’t know what I was thinking about. If I were to paint it, it would be abstract and confusing – masterpiece considering my sheer random and confused awesomeness. Something was bothering me but I didn’t know what. To make issues worse, I couldn’t stop the roaming. Each disturbing thought would shoot across my mind with the speed of a comet. So I began to worry about what I didn’t know, I couldn’t pay attention to the liturgy so I didn’t try. All I wanted to do was get up and get out; maybe take a walk…walks are good…maybe I’d feel better…maybe not…plus it’s Easter Sunday, I can’t storm out of church on Easter Sunday…wooosahhh…no not working either.

I managed to stay for communion and when I got back to my pew from the altar I knelt and prayed. Usually I’d recite the “prayer after holy communion” – the ones I used to recite in Naija and follow it with the “prayer for Nigeria in distress” but on Easter Sunday, Edede was in distress so I pushed Nigeria to the side and said the most sincere prayer I have said in a minute. It was about me; a prayer said to God in a few words. Did I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder? Nah! But as the day progressed and as I went about my activities of the day, I knew, undoubtedly, that God heard me and even more amazing, he answered me. I’m not a prayer warrior, I don’t have the best delivery in conversations, I can be a bore to some and I am super fortunate that all that is extra to God.

Check out this promising new artist “L” and if you like his music, tell a friend or two. http://www.notjustok.com/2009/04/09/l-king/; http://www.myspace.com/liketheletter

 

 

Pax!


e.updates

April 13, 2009

 

So I’m seated at my cube, bored out of my mind. I was just relived of my misery; finally oga called me to discuss a report I sent to her 2 days ago. I have been waiting on her call since morning and she decides to call me @ 3pm. No wahala. She has been very busy.  The conversation about the actual report was short, which made life even better. Usually I’d have something to do, something to read. I look on my igoogle page but I’m not too thrilled about wikihow’s “how to make stick deodorant from scratch” feed. Why in this world would I want to make deodorant from scratch? Though very tempting, I’ll pass. I’m still hung on “how to make lotion” – being looking for the key emulsifier, beeswax, for 2 months now (If you know where I can get beeswax let me know. I have all other ingredients ready). Anyhow, as usual I resort to writing in hopes of some mental relief.

 

I watched on the news last night that a woman called 911 because an attendant at a fast food joint won’t give her more meat. As in, chic, is it that serious? According to her, she asked for more shrimp and the attendant said no, then she asked for more meat and threatened to return the food and get a refund if she didn’t get it. Now here’s the kicker, she is an African American woman. Talk about feeding the stereotype!

 

On a much better topic, Lagos is on the MAP…yep. Lagos now has a web-based city map guide! How awesome is that? MapNTL.com enables users to search for street locations in Lagos online. Kudos to Ireti Ajala who thought about this and big ups to anyone who is thinking of ways to move our country forward; It’s definitely a start to something great…perhaps soon we’ll have interactive maps such as hopstop and mapquest.

 

It has been reported that one of the fast growing businesses in Nigeria is Fast Food Business (Awesome! All you sun stricken Lepa Shandis that want to run me down, all of una go soon turn orobo, mwahahahaha). It follows that the fast food culture is Nigeria is growing. I have no beef with this as more businesses means more jobs for people. In fact PureFiyah and I were talking about how amazing it would be to have a Dallas BBQs type restaurant in Nigeria, though it’s not fast food, imagine the good that typa establishment would do for a community?

 

Quick Q: Would you mind if your friend started dating your ex?

Until whenever, Pax!


’tis I again

March 31, 2009

Halo, Halo (do you remember that comedy?). I know KusKus does and that is enough for me; it makes me feel like I am not the only one that remembers these things. Anyhow, what’s really good? Saturday’s post caused a reaction. It relieved me and I am happy it made some folks laugh. Well that is typical life and times of edede but today I am going the serious route and hopefully you might find something amusing or profound as you go along.

I read in AMNY that VP, Joe Biden’s daughter was caught on tape sniffing cocaine (allegedly)…I hope its not her sha (yea right) but I really feel bad for the chic and even more for her dad. The guy looks too old to be stressing about his daughter’s alleged drug issues. To make issues worse a lawyer was hawking the tape for $250,000. What do I think? I think that putting the story in the news was a damage control tactic. If someone is allegedly caught on tape sniffing cocaine and the public is made aware, I don’t think that they will be thrilled by the validation. Now, if I thought Biden’s daughter was a saint (even if she is a social worker in Delaware) and suddenly saw a tape on the internet of her sniffing cocaine, I would be appalled. Anyhow, whatever the truth might be, I hope it all works out for good – and good includes rehab.

Genius! I watched DL Hugley’s show on CNN late last night and saw that there are some places in California that sell weed legally. Even more appalling the state of California makes about $100,000 or over monthly on the sales of weed (please verify). Okay, I’m having a light bulb moment. I heard that California is bankrupt…hmm, are you thinking what I’m thinking?????

Moving on, Japan is at it again. First they build fantastic cars in the 70s that eventually cripple of the American car industry (the big 3 are in sticky situations right now, as you might now the CEO of General Motors was asked – more like forced – to step down). Japan has built a humanoid robot. Oh my, I am having a sudden matrix/terminator scare…THE ROBOTS ARE GOING TO DESTROY ALL OF HUMANITY…yikes! On a serious note though, scientists in Japan created a robot in the likeness of the average Japanese woman (kindda spooky innit?) Check this out; the eyes, face and hair of the robot cost $2 milla to develop…azzinnnn, what!! Her hands lack the luster but these things are a work in progress so cut them some slack.

Edede seeks a personal swimming instructor. I don’t have money to pay you but I will pay for one year’s membership to the New York Sports and Recreation Center with access to locations in all 5 boroughs. Hola at me if you are interested.

Until next time people

Adios!


awkward…

March 29, 2009

 

I need to write mehnnnnnn. Ahn ahn! I have been in hiatus for the longest time…HABAH! I am going crazy…having headaches all because of this anti-social streak. Let me give you a run down of my day today…I woke up, and stayed in bed with books all around me…I read, slept and woke up with books around me…I went to the kitchen, had cookies, 2 cans of coke and returned to a bed with books on it. What is it???? Everyone is asking me what is wrong, when nothing is wrong – at least, nothing should be wrong. Anyhow, it is depressing and I hate it and I want to scrrrrrrrrrreaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmm – so I resort to writing.

 

So I had a couple of awkward moments in the past week but allow me the share the most interesting. I sat on the 6 train with this guy…next thing I know he pulls out a prisoner movement slip from his jacket pocket and lo and behold, it was his picture on the slip…I was freaked out (and excited cos alas I have gist for y’all) So you can imagine me sitting next to a “convict”…not knowing what to do…what if he has an episode and snaps at me…hmmm, what to do? I kept my calm and tried not to sit too close (hence I was practically on the railings)…I waited till I got to my stop then I got up quickly. Guess what? Homeboy got up too…YEPA! MY LIFE! MY LIFE! I started to recall conversations with popsie “Es, I don’t like you going out at night…a young lady shouldn’t be out that late…why do you have to go out every Friday (an exaggeration if I might add)”…but all that is irrelevant because a CONVICT is out to “get me”.

 

At this point I am hyper paranoid and for some reason the song in my head was “Maria, Maria, you remind me of a Westside story, growing up in Spanish Harlem, She’s living her life just like a movie starrrr” – don’t ask; I am just as confused as you are now. Yes I was in Spanish Harlem at the time but that song wasn’t the right sound track for the situation (I swear men, I need an orchestra to trail me and capture my life in scores). Anyhow sha, long story cut short, the guy went on his way and I walked home horridly. I practically judged the guy…but guy sef should have kept his prisoner movement slip in his pocket. As in, where is the shame gan na?